Another season in the books.......

The Elkhorns 3rd season ended in moderate disappointment as they were "dominated" by the Dominoes Dominators in the A side final. "I think we just ran outta gas " said a dejected Summer. "Our bats went totally cold!".

Absent on Sunday was Hugh Glove. Elkhorn players were asking "Mark, where's Hugh?". If one looks closely in the picture above, we may just find him! Seems he was in a different spot and not the ball diamond...too bad, the Herd could have used him in the final.

It can't go unmentioned the great effort the team put forth in the playoffs. Mercied a few teams and came from behind a few times. "There's no quit in those guys" murmured Casual Observer.

These playoffs saw a number of injuries for the team stars.

1. Casual Back strain (injured on a great play though)
2. Sharon Calf (took a heater there)
3. Tiny Calf (Hit with her own bat? WTF?)
4. Les Knee (he just shifted it back in place )
5. Rob Knee (Happens all the time, the guy is a mess)
6. Hugh Hangover (Just can't play with Summer like he used to!)
7. Preston Confidence (It happens when you get nailed that many times on the bases)

As is customary here are the year end awards for 2009

• Best injured 1st base player Maura (she takes 'em for the team EVERY year)
• Most improved Nadine (great playoffs!)
• Biggest Glove Hugh (of course)
• Most absent player Summer
• Best Senior player Les
• Best Pitcher Sharon
• Best drinker hands down Elkhorn GM (6:00 am emails prove it!)
• Most hard catches made look easy Preston
• Most consistent batter Rob
• Fielding consistency award Dave
• Most Casual Ron (how can it be anyone else?)
• Most weekend games missed Gypsy (But during the week she was a rock)
• Most games missed female Nicola (I hope this is not a sign of anything!)
• Team Commitment award Peggy
• Most likely to make out with a Mexican Kelly

It has been speculated that the Summer GM would retire from Management after this season. All Summer would say was "I'll see how it goes in the off season. I am working on a new book called Let the Players Play. That is going to take up much of my time. Casual is ready, this team has been Built to Win and things are set for a number of years now."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on a guy" remarked the Elkhorn GM. "The Summer Ass needs to fill some big shoes. Summer is the winningest GM in Elkhorn History!"

** At time of writing, the Elkhorn GM was said to be still at an undisclosed address in Transcona and looking to head out from Jeff's to Jeffereys! **

Great Season Herd! Great Season!

Keystone Cops get shocking victory

It wasn't pretty, no, it was damn ugly, but the Elmwood Elkhorns squeeked out an unexpected victory Thursday night.

After failing a number of times to close out their opponents, the "Keystone Cops" got an early Christmas gift.

With 2 outs, 2 on base and the winning run at the plate, a simple ground ball was hit to the Elkhorn Pitcher (who shall remain nameless, but lets just say it was his first game with the Herd's summer squad). Nate (oops I let the cat out of the bag) attempted an easy throw to first only to miss the attempted target by 5-8 feet. The runners rounded the bases. After the second runner came across the plate with the winning run in hot pursuit, the beautiful voice from the umpire was heard..."OUT!...thats game!" The Herd players looked around wondering WTF? It appears the second run stepped on home plate. Victory Horns!

Leading up to that point was reallly hard for the "fan" to watch. Summer was brutal on 3rd and made an unprecedented double move by placing Ball Gobbler on 3rd after missing an easy outfield catch and putting himself in centre field while moving Kelly to Left Field. "It is what winning GM's do! Plain and Simple " remarked Summer.

Stefanie stepped out to play for her first visit and hit a stand up double, a beautiful bunt ala Kelly, and made two great catches in the field after waiving off the Elkhorn GM. "He was just getting in my way!" noted Stef.

Presto played superb on short stop... Nicola solid at Catcher,, Elkhorn GM did well at Rover...Stef and Kelly were solid in field,,,the rest of the team were somewhat out of place this night!

Thanks Nate and Stef for helping out! You both did well,,(even though we "blogged" you Nate!)

The team needs to step it up going forward with the playoffs 6 weeks away!

Go Herd!

Big Game fall on Weekend

First it was the Manitoba Moose on Friday night. Now, the Elmwood Elkhorns sufferred their first tournament defeat since 2007!!

The loss left the Horns looking around wondering WTF?

In addition to the WTF about the games, WTF (Where The Fuck) was The Elkhorn GM? And Casual Observer?

"We could have used those guys out there today" stewed Rob. "Not for their skills, but to give the stars a break from the heat! Where were those clowns?"

Summer could only Shrug his shoulders and thank those that made the journey to Buhler. "We had a rough weekend, it started out good, then today, our bats just fizzled!" said Summer.

"We counted the hits in that last game, there were only 7 hits and most of them were singles!!" said Sharon in disbelief.

When Presto and Slugger strike out you know someting is wrong in batsville! "And I struck out swinging at it!" said a very somber Rob.

Not to worry though, the entire Herd was seen later in the shade having a nice cool drink(s) and forgetting about the unfortunate event. The team is not so sure they can forget not being able to take a break this weekend.

Next game is Tuesday night...Ball Gobbler will lead off again...he showed why he is worth the cash! Remember though, everyone is just a swing or two away from moving up or down in the line up!!

"Hugh"man Error

The Elkhorns trounced their opponents Friday night with a 21-5 "Shellaking" in front of 2 fans at Buhler Park.

"It was a good start to a great weekend" hiccuped Summer. "We have been here before, we know what it takes".

The man commonly known as "Hugh" was off his normal game with 3 unforced errors. "I can't focus properly, she is just too damn hot on first!...That is why I was overthrowing her!" yipped Hugh. "I asked Summer to put Les there so I would not have that problem"!

There is not a chance that Les will see first base anytime soon. "He's a golden glover with big range,,he is teaching the kids some tricks out there" noted Rob. "Besides, we have a couple of first base gals that are doin' a great job!"

Overall, it was probably one of the most solid performances this squad has seen in recent years regardless of the "Nyuk Nyuk" stuff from 3rd to first. "I'll bet he didn't miss a thing later that night with Tiny" joked Presto!

Special thanks to Mr & Mrs Ball Gobbler for hosting the apres win celebration.

The Herd migrates back to Buhler for game 2 of the weekend at 10 am with a second game at 2 pm.

Seats are still available. $2 at the door!

Herd Seeks Threepeat!!

The Elmwood Elkhorns are gearing up for another tournament weekend this week in anticipation of a solid performance at Buhler Park. "We haven't played for a bit, most teams that would hurt, but the rest has done us good. We are all old and needed the rest to get healthy" indicated Ball Gobbler.

"We will be without Gypsy this weekend" mentioned The Summer GM.."I am sure she is travelling somewhere....she'll be missed".

The Horns will have pretty much a full slate to defend their title as they move up the ranks in 4th division.

The time off seemed to work out well for a few members of the squad.
"It has been a busy week promoting Summers new book" said Casual..."it's sanctioned..the whole bit!"

Over 50,000 copies have been sold since the promotional tour began.

"I am not a religious man, but this Bible is something I intend to keep in my drawer" noted Pete. "Mine is signed and everything!"

Game time Friday is 7:20 PM. Rush seats only!

See you there!

Hugh's presence felt! and missed....

Hugh Glove not only has a huge one....but people step aside and watch as he readies himself. Much like at Buhler on Thursday night. He rolled in, looked things over...saw that it was "almost" under control....mentionned a small "twinge" in his tummy from escargot and wine....and remarked...."things seem under control...I will just sit back and infuence those that pass by my Hughness!"

And influence he did!

The pic shows "His Hugness's" team getting his equipment ready for play. No easy task but they all want to be just like Hugh. Who doesn't?

Hey...what do they say about a man with a Huge Glove? He has a Huge bag!!

While unfortunate that Hugh and his lovely parter Tiny cannot make it this weekend....the Herd will still strive for victory with very capable players and management.

• No Summer..
  
• No Elkhorn GM (WTF...a birthday party? AGAIN!!!) We are trying for Friday night man!
  
• No Hugh
  
• No Tiny
  
• No Tannis
  
• A little bit of Ball Gobbler
  
• Alot of Casual
  
• Alot of Peggy...she is good to go..yippie!
  
• Presto showing his magic
  
• Kelly...she does it all
  
• Nadine...solid play all around
  
• Nicola...we need you!
  
• Sharon....she wil be there....always is.
  
• Les....can play (but not on Saturday)
  
• Rob...Hello,,where are you? How was cooking class? We are counting on you this weekend.
  
• Rich..get yer buns out....we need you this weekend!
  

From what we can tell...depending on schedule....The Herd could be close to having enuff players...and make no mistake...the players they will have will be players.....

Look for victories 4 and 5 this weekend.....there just might be a Stampede with the Herd running over the competition!

Go Horns!

Finally Summer has arrived!

It was not without a lot of hard work, sleepless nights, and a little bit of luck, Summer turned up on Thursday night. "I needed to get away and prepare for the season" piped Summer. Rumour has it, the leader of the ball squad was working on the 2009 Elkhorns success strategy while spending a few weeks in disguise in Tahiti. "I thought for sure no one would find me there...boy was I wrong.
Pictured are the Summer GM in disguise on a Tahitian beach just outside his bungalow. Also pictured is the Polynesian lovely that found him! Tiari (above right) was quoted as saying "Once Spring hits, I immediately start thinking of Summer. Summer seems to come later and later every year, but this year, I could not wait.

With Summer back , there was definitely a different swagger on Thursday night. With the team down 3 runs early, all eyes were on the Summer GM to make something happen. " I realized that Ball Gobbler (Dave) missed spring training and 3rd base is a little tough for a sophmore under pressure. I moved Casual (Ron) in and things settled down nicely". Not only did things settle down, they erupted with Ball Gobbler gobbling his way to a golden glove performance in centre field!

"Most guys would have pulled a struggling player, but not Summer, he has a knack of getting the best out of his players, that is why I respect him so much!" boasted Hugh (Mark).

The potential TSN turning point was when Les attempted to go for home on an over throw. " I looked right at Casual, he just shrugged his shoulders casually, so I ran for it." Les noted his disbelief at what transspired. " I have played ball for alot of years, never have I seen such "casualness". I guess the laid back approach is causing some "casualties".

Summer and Casual spent some quality time in the bar afterwards. "Every time I sit down with that man, he sheds so much light on things" indicated Casual. "I am lucky to be in this situation with him, not many get this type of opportunity.

Casuals' opportunities will not end with mere bar banter. He has been enrolled in "Summer" School. The curriculum is based on "Built to Win". Pictured is last years graduate Denise DaFleur who is now the General Manager for the Brainard Pussy Cats. " At first I was having trouble, then Summer suggested we need to go with all nighters to speed up the process! I am no longer satisfied with just getting to 3rd base! Thank you Summer for everything!"

"Once he is done Summer School, that guy is gonna be big, real big!" (Summer was talking about Casual, the Associate Summer GM, AKA Summer ASS)

Let's all wish Casual similar experiences that Denise has enjoyed!

The Players of the Game as indicated by "The Commish" were Sharon for pitching prowess and Summer for ripping one so loud in the on deck circle that the back catcher actually heard it! "Hey, I had chili for lunch, give me a break!" protested Summer.

The Herd's next game is Thursday night at Buhler when they take on Double Ryes and RBI's at 6:20 pm.

Rush seating available at the gate only!! No pre-purchase for this event!

Where's Summer?

And he was not talking about the yearly event that starts every June 21st!  Hugh was asking about the whereabouts of the Summer GM.

"We need him back, today was very different.  Not that Ron did a bad job, not at all, it was just different!" remarked Hugh.  "I actually went over to the side, smacked myself in the face a few times, yelled at myself, and that got me going!".  "It was just too casual out there.  Clearly he never read Built to Win authored by Summer."

"Look at me, I have aged because of this, tattoo sagged, the whole bit!" screamed a disgusted Hugh.

It also appeard that Casual lost his starting pitching job to Sharon.  "I think The Summer GM did this year like he has in the past years, he just keeps finding raw talent to fill gaps" said Casual.  This year I am moving off the mound more than in the past" murmured Casual.  "Not sure why, I have a Unique style that did well in the past!"

"He did a great job with Tannis and Les as well; I don't know where the hell he finds them, but it is beautiful" envied the Elkhorn GM.  "He is big on Nadine as well, so we should be good to go!". 

The Herd started out the 2009 season with 2 victories at Buhler Park.  The Herd managed the victories without Summer (Big Bambino), Dave (Ball Gobbler), Nicole and Nadine.  Players of the game were Maura and Casual.  Guess it was slim pickens.......

Stay tuned for more game information as the schedule gets established.

Summer GM, where are you" cried Tiny Glove...."I guess I will just settle in and read a best seller Built to Win".  "I miss you"

2009...and itchin'

The 2009 edition of the Elmwood Elkhorns is showing a lot of promise early.  The Summer GM (who never sleeps, especially if there is still some left in the 40 ouncer) has been busy assessing new talent, trading players, and managing Hugh's ego.

"All is set and pretty much ready to go" indicated Summer.  "We may move up to 4th division, as a matter of fact I counted on it and moved players accordingly."

In two seasons "The Herd" has finished as "B side" Champs and in 2008 lost the gremlins that foiled them and cruised to victory as "A side" champs.

"It's about winning, having fun, and good times with friends, in THAT order" noted the Elkhorn GM.

This years edition welcomes a few new players:

Les , a player of many talents, noted for quickness on the bags and a bat that impressed Presto last year.  "I saw the Elkhorns in the playoffs and was impressed with the talent and thought it might be a good fit to showcase my abilities" boasted Les.

Nadine, a spin off out of Soulmans Misfits was on the unrestricted free agent market.  "I snapped her up real quick, scouting reports were solid with this one" boasted Summer.

Sharon just may be the diamond in the rough..."we lost a pitcher, I hear she has a pretty good knuckler, that pretty much iced" said Summer.

Negotiations are still going on for one more undicslosed female player... all that can be said right now is that she is hard core Elmwood!

We are glad to have the rest of the team back. 

Hugh Glove, who was looking for a trade after being benched for killing the Texas Mickey with out the GM's has been in spring training and is ready to go after an off season injury.

Elkhorn Archives:

Here is a picture of a young Hugh before puberty.  Lets just say after puberty he was not so shy!  ========================>

And here is Baby Huey, do you see the resemblance?

Time for a great season...go Herd, lets have fun!