Bingo!

The Elkhorns cashed in on the Wednesday Night Jackpot! A 29-5 drubbing over The Bingos left Tony Robbins understanding why he needs to re-think his philosophy on motivation.

“He just does not understand that this team needs more than a warm touchy feeling speech! They are grown men and woman for gawd sakes” criticized the Summer GM.

The game started off with Casual Observer getting a “talking to” from our umpire friend. “He just started chirping at me about my placement in the batters box, I knew it was going to be an interesting night right then” murmured Ron.

“Then he started lighting into me about being too close to 3^rd base as a coach, and the play was no where near! I am sorry, but I don’t take entry level umpires talking condescendingly to me lightly! This is a beer ball league, he needs to chill a bit and stop antagonizing players. I think he gets a charge out of being the guy in control, we just have to deal with it I guess” said the Summer GM. “You mess with the bull, ya get the Horn; the Elkhorn that is. “What goes around comes around”.

Congratulations to Rick for entering the Elkhorn Homer club, a club that now boasts 5 men and 1 woman!

Stars of the game were Rob and Kelly.

Now for the game performance reports. The Summer GM had an uncharacteristic “off night” at second base. “I was in the wrong place a few times, thank goodness my errors did not cause any runs, I would not have slept well if that were the case”.

Ron found him self in an awkward moment as he “casually observed” his pop fly being dropped, then decided to run to first base only to be thrown out easily.
The Summer GM used this night for player development as well. Preston found himself at Shortstop for a bit and looked good. Pete found himself at second base for an inning and had a few issues with the 2 balls hit his way “I totally respect Craig and Vanessa now that I have actually played 2^nd, it is tougher than it looks, and they make it look easy!” marveled the Elkhorn GM.

The bats were flying with Craig, Maura, and Peggy all batting 1.000 for the night.

Barb “wowed” the fans with her stand up triple, and Kelly showed bunting prowess in her last at bat.

Vanessa showed bionic woman like speed while batting .667 for the night.

And Hugh, after a 29-5 slaughter, well, let’s just say the media was heard saying "Hugh who?"

Heads are Gonna Roll

Enuff said!

What the hell was that this week? We call ourselves a ball team?

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, am I playing the best I can?

I can tell you, the answer is no!

I can also tell you that changes are in the works!




"We need to limit our errors" anguished the Summer GM. "We really are not fielding well, our technique is brutal".

Add to that the Herd's positional play....."4 homers? Hello? WTF is that? Move back a bit in the field! There should be no more home runs this year! Period! Any one that lets a ball past them in the field buys a round! End of discussion!" Yelled Tiny Glove in disappointment.

"Our infield was second rate tonight....did you see how the other team fielded the ball? They got in front of everything!" lamented Hugh. "They even snagged one of mine, so you know they were on their game!"

"And what is up with throwing the ball when there is no play?" said a very concerned Elkhorn GM from Ron's chair.

The Herd needs to shape things up, and Heads are gonna roll if the players continue with their antics. "Yes, I said antics...they have to know they are playing for the name on the front of the shirt, not the name on the back!" the Summer GM screamed.

"Sure, lets all have fun drinking afterwards; let me tell you, it is alot more fun drinking after a win than a loss!" squawked Casual Observer.

The Herd needs to decide, are they playing for fun, if so, next year there is a nice little church league in St Boniface they can play, or are they playing like "Elmwood" and do the green, white and blue proud?

Rick was seen leaving Smitty's telling reporters "no comment" as they were looking for some insight into the Elkhorns Locker room. "The Summer GM has told us to withhold comments at this time" yiped Rick.

Clearly, this team needs a shake up. The Summer GM had one closing comment to a bewildered media outside of Smitty's. "Tell the team I am coming to the next game, and I am bringing hell with me!"

Debut of many show results!

This reporter does not like to boast, but he was bang on last week when he reported the Herd were missing their big guns whilst splitting their first two games. Both the Summer GM (Big Bambino) and Hugh Glove showed up and did not disappoint.

As reported last week, the team underachieved with a .500 record without the big men, but tonight, the Horns showed they are clearly a better team with the star players in place. Both Hugh and Summer batted 1.000 tonight to lead the team to victory.

After a 12-4 drowsing of the Transcona Classics Hugh was able to meet with the media and mentioned he was still exhausted from playing last week in the Asian League All-Star Game. "I can't believe it, they actually rub my feet over there!" laughed Hugh.

"I do need to mention that the Summer GM did a job out there and had a great feel for the lumber tonight...hopefully my lumber will get taken care of later" said Hugh as he looked over at Maura with bedroom eyes.

Notable player moves tonight showed Vanessa playing Rover (under duress). "I just wish she had the same confidence in herself as I do in her, she is more than a one dimensional player" indicated the Summer GM at a Chi Chi's post game interview. "Basically, she played right behind second all night, so she should have been comfortable".

Rob homered again....."ho hum...yawn........"

Casual Observer seemed cumbersome sporting a new look glove. " It is tough to get over the Pita, I hope this new feeling is short lived" indicated Ron as he oiled his new glove. "Beauji had the big one last year, and when I saw this baby, I just had to have it!"

Players of the night were Peggy and Preston. Congratulations to you both.

Dave and Nicola celebrated their 20th anniversary with the team tonight. Dave was looking to round the bases later during the evening and was seen with a lump in his pants making the rest of the team question whether it was a salt shaker in his pants or just his anticipation of 2 minutes of lovin' once they got home . Congrats to the happy couple.

Next week the team plays both nights and by the end of the week should be 4 for 5 and sitting at 80% winning percentage.

Horns stumble without star players

The Summer GM looked down at the table when told of his teams dismal start to the 2008 Season.

The Elkhorns opened up with a loss in the first game being "mercied" by Soulman's Misfits and then returned to form by "kicking" Field of Nightmares.

"Basically the Misfits are FAQ for gawd sakes!" indicated Craig, "we dominated them last year!"

Predictions of winning 85% of their games this year are not over yet, however the Herd needs to get their big guns back int he line up soon! Hugh and the Summer GM both were absent on Monday night and it's clear the squad is a .500 team without them.

"I was in the cock pit of the plane telling the pilot to step on it" indicated Hugh. "He kept pushing back and ranting about regulations crap!" Hugh knew the team was in jeopardy unless he got there.

"I blew a $40 Proline!" sobbed Pete. He was not the only better that night that chose the Elks.

Others were speculated to have had their money on the Elkhorns as well indicating the allegations are false and they have never placed money on any sporting event, let alone an event as significant as the Elkhorns season opener.



The Team is looking forward to getting all the players in the line up soon with the likes of Dave and Nicola also suiting up in the near future.

On the injury front, Jeff was sporting a colorful mosaic on his calf and the team is hopeful for a healthy return.

Casual Observer (Ron) saw the moths fly out of his wallet as he made good on his proclamation to buy a drink for anyone who homers in their first at bat. Rob rounded the bases 3X! Casual may have to dip into his signing bonus once again as there will be more first time batters stepping up over the next few games.

The next showdown is on Wednesday night against the Classics. After having their antlers broken by the Classics in the Season Tourney last year, look for the Horns to come out fast!

Anyone wanna bet?

Upcoming Events

Monday May 12
Elkhorns Give Back
ABC, 8 pm EST
The Elkhorns assist the less fortunate in this 1 hour TV special.

Wednesday May 14
Elmwood Elkhorns vs Transcona Classics
7:40 PM,Keenleyside Park

Play Ball !!

This year’s edition of the Elmwood Elkhorns promises to excite even the casual softball fan. Off season acquisitions and early spring trades have made for a very excited Summer GM.

After one short season, the Elkhorns already have a depth chart that would make most Major League teams green with envy.

New Players

“Last fall I started wooing both Kelly and Preston, I have them locked into long term performance deals. That means, as long as they continue to perform, they will continue to be part of this dynasty.”

Like all experienced GM’s, Craig has let some intuition take over in some of his decisions. “Dave and Nicola, I have not seen them play, but my spidey sense tells me that they will be strong contributors this year. We needed to bring in Dave to ensure that Rick is no longer our least skilled player”, clearly a motivational tactic employed by the Summer GM.

Pulling Peggy out of the FAQ organization was big feather in the GM's cap. “She brings competitive experience and a fantastic outlook to the game” boasted Craig.

Craig was salivating about his newest male member, commenting that “Jeff ensures that we will get some of the hockey pool winnings back at Smitty’s one night; that was a big part of the deal there”.

Old players

Hugh Glove and the Elkhorn GM flexed some tenure muscle with Hugh laying out a talent edict and Pete insisting on a no trade clause ala Sundin. Expect Casual Observer to start squawking about something soon so as to not be left behind.

Rob was seen at a black and blue event in the Osborne Village. At least now we understand why he wore those funky leather chaps.

Past Players

There is also a lot of pressure playing for the Horns as the organization saw a few casualties fall by the wayside. Kris we will miss and rumors are that Dan broke down after falling subject to a GM tongue lashing late last season. We hope the folks in the ward are taking good care of our former star pitcher.

Team Supporters

Smitty’s has stepped up to the proverbial plate once again so a few additional calories will be added to the team in the form of Beer, Nachos, Wings, and umm Beer! Let’s continue to show the Smitty’s franchise the same support they are providing to the Elkhorn franchise. Also warm thanks to the “Commish” for his support of the Herd.

Season Predictions

• The horns will win 85% of their games this year (gotta throw a few to position for playoffs)
• At least 5 thighs will need medical attention
• Pete may hit his first home run (he has been working out)
• Rick and Vanessa will marry at home plate (Rick clearly will do so under duress). This one pays 500-1 for you betters out there!
• Ron will perform well at catcher
• Craig will add to his record of the winningest GM in Elkhorn history
• The Elkhorn trophy cabinet will be garnished with additional hardware by year’s end.
• All will have fun.
• And finally, the BLOG will see more hits than Mr Magoo parking his car!

We open up with a double header on Monday night! Location is the Legion at Henderson and the Perimeter!

First game is on Monday May 5th @6:20 pm. Second game is right after! See if we can all be there at 6 pm!

Let’s enjoy the summer fun. PLAY BALL!