We've Lost him........Another one bites the dust!

The magnet a' la chix is soon to be taken.

Soon, very soon, the man that many said is too much man for any woman will wed in an undisclosed place at an undisclosed time. Rumours are that it will be in the next few weeks.

The Elkhorn GM (AKA Pete) has been tight lipped about the ceremony only saying "it will be small, not a big deal, then I am taking a few weeks to recover."

Look for paparazzi helicopters in East Kildonan or Caddy Lake as a sign that the "deed" is being done.

Disgruntled about the lack of invites, fellow players are looking to crash the wedding once the word is out regarding the event. "That is what triggered the film" griped Casual Observer.

"We started shooting once we heard about it, all we need now is a few live shots at the wedding and we probably will be able to wrap up filming" said director Michael Moore. "It was great to have a guest appearance from Nick Nolte to star as Pete, this will definitely be THE box office smash this summer!" touted Moore.

On a related note, the Elmwood Herald leaked photos of a few of Pete's friends from "ALIVE" that apparently have received invites (Below right, pictured from the dock at Caddy).

"Hey, he can invite whoever he wants, I noticed he hasn't been hangin' with us much lately, I guess he has some new pals that he's into" declared the Summer GM. "Looking at them, I hope he is not literally into them".

All aside, good wishes to the happy couple Cathy and Pete, good luck on your day and future together from your friends.

Don't Step on the Plate!

Yes, it happened again. Baseball's winning est manager did a no no last night.

After hitting an easy single, followed by a few over throws, the Summer GM waltzed home only to realize at the last second that he touched home plate. "I can't believe I did that" seethed a humble Summer GM. "I expect the rookies to make that kinda mistake, not our skilled players!"

This is the second time this year that the man who should know better did the ultimate Softball Nasty. "I sat down and discussed his future with the team and basically told him his 3rd strike will have him released" indicated the Elkhorn GM.

Truth of the matter is, that the game was not lost due to poor decision making while running the bases, it was lost by awkward defensive play. "Stuck on Third" last night was also "Stuck on Bunting!". "Alright this is enough of this crap!" yelled a vocal Hugh Glove. "Tiny Glove get in there, pinch in." instructed Hugh.

A hesitant Tiny moved in after lengthy discussion of possible sexual hold backs if Hugh continued with his tantrum!

Soon the bunts stopped, but too little, too late. A mercy rule loss was the end result.

"We shoulda done that much earlier" said Hugh, "I can't be expected to be a golden glover, a batting force and a coach, mind you, I could do it all, it's just not in my contract!" "Also, I never arrive on time, so there is no way I could manage!"

You can be sure the Herd won't be bunted to death like last night anytime soon.

Final Regular Season game is July 30th at Keeleyside Park, 6:20 pm!

Great teams win tough games (almost).

The Elkhorns thought they squeaked out an 8-7 victory last night in front of 11 fans with an unlikely hero finishing the Transcona Classics in extra innings

Their lumber was as bad as it gets with the notable absence of Summer GM’s strength at the plate. They started out fast and jumped to a 6-0 lead, and then the bats went cold with the Classics retiring 13 of the next 14 batters to tie the game.

After sitting out the game with an injury, the Summer GM was about to take matters into his own hands with the apparent winning run on second by inserting himself into the batting line up. He was over ruled by the Elkhorn GM (pictured) who stepped up to the plate and launched the ball over second base to drive in the winning run.

“Great players don’t shy away from the ball, they want it and they want it in critical situations” murmured Hugh Glove.

Dan took home the team player award by offering to sit the latter part of the game. Mind you, Pete did offer to sit (not thinking his time may come to be a real life Kirk Gibson), however the Summer GM could not swing the substitution. Some call it destiny, others call it dumb luck. In any case, the Elkhorn GM demonstrated ability never captured before. “I felt good after the Red Bull kicked in” said Pete exhaling a DuMaurier. “There was no way I was gonna deny the team this victory, I’ve made too many errors this year. I needed to redeem myself.”

Word from the commissioner after the game was that there should not have been extra innings and the game (and the heroics) will go down as a 7-7 tie. That means, Pete’s performance NEVER happened and could eradicate his game star selection as well. “That’s Bull Fuck, it happens every goddam time to me!” screamed the Elkhorn GM! “I am putting up the funds to protest this one! Jesus Christ!!!!”

“I feel bad for the guy” chirped Ron (Casual Observer), “he really tries hard out there and we all thought the monkey was off his back.”

Game stars were Pete (under review) and Vanessa.

Rumblings about management making more changes were substantiated by Summer GM in après game discussions.

“Rick is playing well at pitcher. My only hesitation is to use him in critical situations” said the Summer GM reflecting on his rookie hurler. “I’ll get Dan working with him, Rick needs to be ready for the playoffs”.

The locker room banter is that management is moving players around and some players do not like where they are playing. “Listen, it’s my job to get the most out of the team, I don’t move people just because. There are reasons, some of which are good performance, poor performance, or belligerence. Look at our record, I think it speaks for itself” fumed the Summer GM. “Those guys are not there to think, that’s my job!”

The Herd will erase this dismal outing by taking out their frustrations on someone else (that is how it’s done in the hood). The unlucky victims are Stuck on Third next Monday at Art McQuat Park (Maginot) @ 7:45 pm

Eventually, every one loses........

Some said it to be not possible. Some said highly unlikely. On Sunday night against Stuck on Third, Mark lost his first game as a Summer Elkhorn. "I am just not used to this feeling...is this what you guys feel every time you lose?" said a visibly upset Mark C.

Unable to cope, Mark turned to the bottle on Sunday night. Naturally he brought along a few friends to help him get through this ordeal.

"Without those guys I am not sure what would have happened last night! I cannot say enough about how Beauj, Pete, Ron and Rob got me though this. And Maura was superb, as you can see, she really is there for me "for better or for worse" mumbled a modest Mark.

Clearly Elmwood's 44th greatest athlete of all time was off his game on Monday night as well, however he pressed on to ensure he did not feel that uncomfortable feeling again. The Elkhorns rallied the bats behind young "phenom" Stefanie to win 22-20 in a "semi mercy" game against Pitching Tents.

Rob and Stefanie were players of the game on Sunday night, and Ron and Stefanie partnered up to boast the players of the game on Monday night.

Controversy and errors seemed to be the order of the day for both games. On Sunday night the herd ran into a very unruly umpire that ran a tight game but his people skills were lacking at best. Errors galore pretty much summed up the loss on Sunday.

Errors were abundant on Monday night as well, however clearly minimized by the Elkhorns first challenge as an organization. Pitching Tents openly questioned Stefanie's playing status. They questioned the ump about whether a young girl should be playing. The umpire clearly stated there are no age limitations. Thank goodness for the thoroughness of the Elkhorn management in ensuring it was cleared through the commish.

Stefanie had the last laugh as she caught a pop fly, and hit the ball into the outfield to shut up the nay sayers.

Speaking of pitching tents, a few of the Elkhorn women noticed that Ron was pitching his own tent after watching Tamara (blue shirt on the opposing team) run the bases.

Things worth noting:

On Sunday night the Elks started off with 3 consecutive homers from Ron, Craig, and Maura. Rob was close in trying to make it 4, but missed by a step.

Ron laid out two more homers on Monday night. It appears that a 3 hour moonlight walk does the body good!

The shakeup is happening in the organization with Pete moving to first base and Craig moving around like a nomad. Clearly it is tough to find spots for the big men. Ron has moved into the pitching position as he has seen more moves than a Sidney Crosby highlight reel!

The horns roster got a little lighter with the loss of two players for the remainder of the season. Carol and Bob announced their retirement. Scouts are out and looking for our spares to step up right through playoffs. There might even be a championship ring in it for them!

The Elks go at it again on Wednesday night against Steamrollers at Gateway CC.

Remember, your either playing for the Elkhorns or watching them!

Leadership, the glory and the tough calls!

This weeks feature is about leadership. The Elkhorn Summer GM has taken leadership to a new level and is touring North East Winnipeg touting his new book "Built To Win".

"It's about leadership" says Sheard. "Knowing where to put your players on any given day. Knowing when they need some direction out there." Sheard vows that the thrill of it all comes when he sees a consistent under performer finally peak under his guidance. "Take Ron for example, he was an accident waiting to happen. I took him to the next level by showing him the fundamentals of the game and now he plays tactically out there. Clearly one of our most consistent players as of late".

Sheard indicates "It's all about RESULTS! Not Excuses" a mantra he has brought into the locker room and the team has responded with victories over and over!

"I can't say enough about the way the team has come together" in the last month" says Sheard.

Looking forward Sheard is expecting the Elkhorns to make a run for the crown and knows that it will not be an easy road. "We still have some problem players out there and I have had to be firm with a few of them, sitting them out, and letting them know who is boss!" says an authoritative Sheard. "Once they challenge you and win, you have lost all your management ability. That can never happen under solid management direction."

With an 11-5 record this year, it appears that Sheard not only talks the talk, but walks the walk.

The Herd is always looking for new players, players that can contribute on and off the field. "Troy Westwood called me the other night and wanted to play. He basically wanted to buy a uniform and play the rest of the year for free, ...not happening under my direction. It's about consistency as a leader, and your team looks to you for that!" smirked a jesting Sheard. "Listen, he may have some free time on his hands, but we can't take on premadonnas, it will spoil the mix."

On the injury front the Elkhorns are in fantastic shape with only a few minor injuries. "Vanessa has bad quads, but I gave Rick a program for her and he has been working with her off the field." Again, leadership is not only about providing guidance, it is also about delegating. On a positive note, Rick also mentioned that the program cured his ED!

Remember, sports is all about Results, not excuses! The Elkhorn Franchise is a proud one and clearly one that needs to be applauded for the results they consistently attain.

-Reuters// Associated Press// Elmwood Herald