Would ya Rather.........?

Would you rather go to Roger Waters or play baseball for the Elkhorns?

Would you rather go on a boat ride or play ball for the Herd?

Both Pete and Rick answered those questions by their absence on Wednesday night.

Pete, there is a karaoke version for you to sing along with,,, enjoy!!!!!!! We thought your on field choices were odd, now we are seeing it is a life thing!

Rick, sorry, we have yet to figure out how to throw you an oar via the web. You do get some benefit of the doubt as yours was work related. We are also sure you would rather be putting the antlers on.

Bob, your not off the hook, a boating course? Pahleez!!

This pic is for the gals, (thanks to Barb for graciously taking it on short notice...the Summer GM does look a tad tight doesn't he?). Apparantly the Elkhorns ladies are looking for the men to kick it up a notch on the Blog,,,be vewy vewy careful what you ask for......

Once again it was all about results. Tonight, "Ump Yours" felt the girth of the horn with a 22-2 trouncing.

For the first time this season, the outfield went error free. The new outfield marshalled by Mark, Barb, Craig and Kris demonstrated how effective fielding can help a squad. Previous outfields have been ill effective at best.

The infield made stellar plays all night. Come to think of it, tonight there were no weaknesses.

Speaking of effective, with 5 men and 5 women tonight, placement of all players was key. Management placed the players in spots where all players would contribute to victory (and all did!). Some contributed by not being there.

Great pitching today Dan! Players of the Game were Ron and Vanessa.

Thanks to M&M for hosting an apres victory gathering. Good eats, good company, and the orgy after the kids went to bed was most satisfying! Love the video on the big screen!

Next week the Elkhorns move into the July schedule on a roll, and are gearing up for the playoffs.

No Jewellery Please!

We have had a few incidents of automatic outs due to players not removing their jewellery.

Please ensure all visible jewellery is removed prior to play.

For those of you with "hidden" jewellery, please send a picture to the Summer GM for scrutiny and advice on whether or not it is legal for ball.

If in fact it is deemed that the picture quality is insufficient for a ruling, you may be asked to display prior to going to the plate.

Next time you complain about your kids, remember, they are not that bad in the big scheme of things. See picture above. It could always be worse!

See you all at Gateway on Wednesday June 27...6:20 PM.. Jewellery check at 6:00 PM in the parking lot!

Preparedness leads to Results, not Excuses!

First it was Pete and Mark. They bought new cleats to come prepared to play. Then the Summer GM stepped up with new equipment.

Rick on the other hand, is a work in progress. Being prepared is clearly not one of his strengths. Everyone has bad days, but this is one for the record books!

The top 10 reasons why Rick will probably not see anything better than number 9 in the batting order.

10. The ninth position is the LAST male position in the batting order.

9. Fancy throws that look totally ridiculous are not what built this franchise.

8. Holding a runner on second while the other team is diving for the ball in the water is not prudent 3rd base coaching. It would have been a home run, but well, let's not belabor it.

7. Sitting in the Summer GM's chair. Yes, he was told to move to the cheap seats!

6. Unheard of is when the Umpire who heard his nick name is "auto", says " he is living up to his nickname!"

5. Coming to a baseball game without proper footwear (Sandals), and then telling people , "it's wet out there anyways, I'll just wear these.."......nice try sunshine.

4. Errors on the field where the ball crossed between him and another fielder, and proudly saying, "Hey, that's not my error, I never touched it!" 'nuff said,,, Remember, Results, Not Excuses!

3. Being the ONLY person to not show up to Smitty's after the game.

2. Being called out for wearing jewellery. The umpire just looked at him, pulled his ear like Carol Burnett and said "batter's out!".

1. Having to be called by the Summer GM and Elkhorns GM for assuming the game was off. The call came from the field where everyone else was worried about Mr late. Craig said, "Don't worry, I spoke with him earlier, he'll be here"...NOT! Maybe Rusty Staub told him the game was off (see comments in previous week's article).

Enuff about Ricks cognitive inadequacies. Clearly his mind was on Sylvia Kuzyk's ass. Gawd that woman has a big can! On a positive note, love the green sox!

The Elkhorns rallied once again to victory in less than stellar game conditions. Thankfully most of the team came prepared, on time, and were ready to play. Maura and Rob were game stars. The term "mercy" was used and is starting to become tiresome. (yawn)

Every herd strengthens itself by losing the weakest member. Thank goodness tenure is something the organization respects, and we will soon forget about all of this, but the BLOG always remembers (or at least until the server crashes!)

Results! Not Excuses!

Results! Not excuses! That was the Elkhorn mantra this weekend. However, the Winter GM had a few issues as you can see by the picture below.

In the first Elkhorn Softball tournament in franchise history, the mantra led to very definitive victories. As many players indicated, we mercied them, AGAIN!

Whether it was the Summer GM sacrificing his body to make a play, (or attempting to), and displaying a "NEVER QUIT" attitiude, or Venom and Spidey hitting homers, it was all about RESULTS!

Spectactular fielding by the entire team and stellar pitching was the order of the day. Realize though, when you have a team full of gifted sluggers, it is much like the Oilers of the 80's where they just scored over and over and ran the other teams down. This is how a dynasty is started.

Special thanks to our spares, (well they just may end up "ousting" a few of our absentees).

Lots of eye candy at the old complex as Pete wore a tank top for a great part of the weekend. Too many boobs to count, mind you I did try and ended up with an "odd" number,,, go figure.

There were sightings, fightings, bitings, covered ass, naked ass, cleavage (not just the gals!), you name it, it was all there. The best part was the apres' ball events where the team retreated for a number of "liver workouts" before heading home for the night. And you know the workouts are always longer than the recommended time! Hic!

I think I even saw the guy from Little people, Big world in the ring!!

The herd migrates back east on Wednesday night and missed mating season, so you know they will be a bit on the randy side. Action starts at 6:20 pm at the legion on the perimeter....hunting season is now open as everyone is "gunning for the Elkhorns!"

My dream came true, finally an Elkhorn!

What can we say. Not only are the Elkhorns supportive of the community, they are supportive of local athletes with a dream. Today, the dream was realized by the commish.

Not only did he play, but he played shortstop, pitcher and rover!

The Elkhorns are a team with history, and today, they honored a true "Elmwoodian" by initiating him as the first honourary Elkhorn in franchise history. Negotiations are ongoing regarding his full time playing status. Things are looking favourable.

After losing a close second game, the Elks decided to move to the outdoor lounge for a few libations to lick their wounds.

We had great hosts that provided a great atmosphere and great "eats" that all enjoyed. The company was not bad either!

Stories were told of Elmwoodites of old, and what we still need to finish before the season ends.

On an awkward note, we need to let you know that Pete now has a nickname of "toaster". That is because he pops up more than a toaster!

Carol played stellar, Bob enjoyed success until his thighs gave out (age), and Dan brought out the whole frikken family and the scouting reports are that there may be signings happenning shortly. They played great.

Rick was 3 for 3, and new acquisition Cal turned a double that made us think his last name was "Ripken". Thanks as well to Lori and Caitlyn for helping out, (they played well).

Noteable absences were Ron, Mark and Maura. Church stuff for all of them. Barb and Kris were working however we could have used their medical skills with all the injuries.

Rob struck out for the first time this year...sorry Rob, I need to tell the whole story. But he did hit a home run that is really starting to be tiresome when he comes up to bat.

Vanessa pulled a thigh, Bob pulled two thighs, and the rest of the Elks pulled something else.

The Elks cross horns on Monday at 7:45 pm on Munroe. Get your tickets early, and even though you purchase the entire seat, you will only need the tips!